My name is Chase Michael Marcus and I am a cancer survivor. Thank you for visiting this website. Ever since this idea came to me when I was in the hospital fighting leukemia (APL), I have prayed for the content of Cancer and the Christian to be a blessing to all who come across it.

Currently I’m a married youth minister living in southwest MO. My beyond-words bride, Alyssa, has been a testimony of grace, love, and truth through the journey we’ve shared together.

Thank you as well to my family, friends, and to the church and organizations who have supported us through everything. Cancer is fight no one goes through alone and it’s one that no one should go through alone.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

Updated May 26th, 2019

In 2017 while serving as a dean at a junior high week of church camp in southwest MO, I became extremely ill. From suffering from lifelong allergy issues and sinuses infections, I assumed it was my seasonal sinuses starting up again. Usually at church camp I begin eating extremely healthy and am very active from keeping up with all the awesome kiddos. A hard detox from the youth minister diet of pizza rolls and fast food usually causes me at times to get sick as well from such a stark change in eating habits.

At the beginning of the week I became increasingly more sick. At first it started with all the symptoms of a sinus infection, then there came dehydration, night sweats, bruising, swelling and pain in my gums, and finally, throwing up. Once I threw up at camp, I knew it was time to remove myself from the students. By the advice from several others at camp, I realized it would be better if I stopped to take care of myself then possibly make my condition worse. I needed to protect the kids from whatever I was sick with, and to get myself better so I could continue to lead as we had a large summer planned with the junior high and high school students.

My wife who was also leading worship that week of camp took me to an urgent care. I was hoping to get medicine quickly and to return back to the students. My family doctor didn’t have an opening and urgent care was our best option. After arriving and speaking with the nurse practitioner there, she said it seemed to be strep throat. Not completely convinced, I asked about the huge bruise I had on my thigh from bumping into a picnic table earlier in the week. It was about the size of my hand the deepest purple I’ve ever seen on my body. She said it would be something I should look into and to contact my family doctor.

Once we left, we immediately called our family doctor back who, after hearing my symptoms, urged me to come into his office right away. The bruising was of great concern to him and he ordered a large amount of tests to be done on my blood. Two days later at 8am in the morning I received the call from my family doctor that my white, red, and platelet counts were basically zero and he had no idea of what could be causing it. He recommended to go to the ER immediately. In a rush my wife and I raced to the hospital, called a neighbor to watch our dog, and our parents to inform them that something was wrong.

Hours later after the ER confirmed my blood counts were extremely low, I was being air evacuated by helicopter to KU hospital in Kansas City, MO. It was the nearest location I could receive radiated platelets I desperately needed. Upon arrival I was immediately given a bone marrow biopsy to take a deeper look at what could be wrong with me. Moments later mine and Alyssa’s parents arrived at our room. After a few hours passed, I was called by the oncologist to confirm I had the 3rd subtype of Acute Myeloid Leukemia, Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia. The doctors and nurses said, “If you have cancer, this is type you want to have.” This seemed very odd to us, but it was quickly explained to us that recent developments in cancer over the past 20 years have turned this type of leukemia from being the deadliest into the most curable. The oncology team was confident they could recover my body from all the sickness I had picked up, begin to attack the cancer cells, and to prevent me from dying.

I was then started that evening on chemo treatments and remained on Unit #42 a total of 27 days before being dismissed to a type of outpatient treatment. That time was a whirlwind of figuring out everything would could of APL, how to get Medicaid, hearing from loved ones, receiving precious letters and gifts in the mail, laughing and crying with our parents, and beginning the processes of preparing for whatever out future might hold. My mom stayed locally by our side and Alyssa’s family came by often to help us in by far the greatest moment of our lives. We had just been outside our first year of marriage and being only 26th years old and Alyssa 22, we were shocked that this was happening.

Once my body was healthy enough to be dismissed from the hospital I began the protocol of continued everyday treatment from their BMT Outpatient Clinic. Our team of providers set us up in a cancer outpatient housing, Hope Lodge. It was a sterile facility that provided free housing for us to get continued care. For a week we traveled the short distant from Hope Lodge to the BMT clinic daily to get chemo treatments to fight off the cancer cells and other medicines my body needed. After a week though, a mold issue was found in the outpatient housing and we were put into a Drury Inn down the road. Several long weeks later I was cleared after a bone marrow biopsy to begin my four cycles of chemo which would hopefully lead to remission and new life. After much deliberation and prayer, we decided to come home and do all of my chemo treatments locally.

We drove home excited that day in August to find our street lined with loved ones welcoming us home. This began a long process of healing emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Between my mom, Alyssa’s family, and our church, we were surrounded by an army of loved ones who did all they could to selflessly care for us.

Just a week later we began what would be long months of driving almost daily to the cancer clinic Joplin, MO for eight straight months. We were blessed to encounter a team of wonderful nurses and care providers who did much more than treat me physically. This time is one that is a bit blurry in my mind. I was on countless medicines, dealing with constant side effects, and being ravaged by the chemo. Alyssa and I battled blood clots, ER visits, crippling migraines, and much more. We prevailed though and survived the treatments which led to my full remission in April. After being cleared of cancer, I finished one final cycle to ensure lifelong remission.

Even though it has been less than a year since I heard the oncologist say over the phone, I can only assume it’ll take years to process everything that happened. The trauma from it all, paired with side effects of treatment, caused me to have my blurs when it comes to my memory and the recollection of everything. My wife continually reminds me of events that took place along the way and occasionally I can see through the fog in my mind. My first two months of treatment from June to August were a blur. Half of my my time was spent at medical facilities getting treatment and meeting with medical professionals and the other half was spent dealing with adverse side effects. I don’t want to reveal too much in an inappropriate sense. What I do feel comfortable saying was those initial months were the most stressful and painful moments I could even imagine going through, and living them were worse than a nightmare. The emotional, physical, and spiritual pain was numbing and I was too weak to process what was really happening. While I was truly blessed beyond measure from the practical help I was receiving from so many and knew with my heart the provision of the Lord, I could not find peace in my heart. It’s hard to be rational when your body is on fire from chemo and you’re staring at possible death.

When I came home and back to reality, the settings of my life were how I had left them, but I couldn’t find my place in it. One reason that led to this was the crippling migraines I received from one of my chemo treatments. They lasted till about May of 2018, if not longer. Even thinking about those migraines almost brings back the grip like pressure I felt in my head during those days. With how crushing the weight of what I was going through was paired with the literal pain I had in my head, I could barely function. In a way, self-help during that time was like trying to hold water with my hands. The harder I tried, the harder I failed.

I’m blessed to say though several people helped change the course of my healing. And I don’t mean a treatment plan necessarily, but emotional and spiritual help I received from key people in my life. From my wife, parents, in-laws, members of my church, and a nurse from the cancer clinic, I began hearing God speak through others. This is what I what I would say kept me from dying. That might seem extreme to say, but what would it be worth to survive cancer but lose myself during the process?

It has been almost a year since all of this has taken place and there has been another journey that has taken place besides fighting my cancer into remission. There is the process of recovery, which is a battle in of itself. The day you get the call you have remission doesn’t change a lot. Your body, mind, and heart is many cases is still broken. Mine was and it’s still honestly on the path of restoration. Physically, I still deal with horrible neuropathy and lack of sleep. Emotionally, I wounded, filled with fear, anxiety, and worry. Spiritually, I’m seeking affirmation from the Father in a form in which I can truly accept it in my heart, and not just in my mind. I have a way to go, but now it’s just a process of my discipleship. Naturally, as I grow deeper in God’s Word, I find myself nearing a place of wholeness in myself. My marriage is stronger, my ministry better, and everything else is coming into place. I will say though it does feel like three steps forward, one step backwards at times.

The life I have now of moving forward as a cancer survivor has led to me making this website and blogging. My conviction was to create something I could do to help myself with an ongoing dialogue of what I’ve been through, am experiencing currently, and hopes for the future. Part of inspiration for doing this is to use it as a way of continued healing for myself and the other is to create a possible resource to connect with others and to provide them care as well. It has taken me a while just to get this far from the limitations I currently face. It’s a start though and I plan to add more content overall and to expand parts of this testimonial section. I plan to publish new content or give an update on how I am doing as frequently as I can. My prayers is for enough healing to take place in my life to reach a point where I can focus as much extra free time and energy as I can to developing this.

May 26th, 2019 Update

For the past few months, I’ve had a long on-going struggle with finding a balance in life. Lack of sleep and constant pain, either in the form or neuropathy or migraines, has extremely limited my productivity in life. I had to go on Sabbatical from my youth and college-age ministry at Racine Christian Church in Neosho, MO during the months of February and March. During that time I met with a Palliative team of doctors through my oncology team in Kansas City, MO. For the time frame of remission of cancer in February 2018 until March 2019, the thought from my primary oncologist that my symptoms of fatigue and pain were a cause of the chemo used to battle my leukemia. They said over time, my body would adjust and return to normal. Since it has not, I’ve been handed off to this team of specialists. They have diagnosed me currently with neuropathy and are prescribing new medicines along with a pain diary to keep track of what the medicines are doing daily in my life.

The past few months have showed a lot of progress and I’m looking forward to possibly what this new medicine can do. Primarily, my pain would start every evening in my legs, and then would radiate through the rest of my body. The pain will get so extreme it will cause me to curl up in muscle aches to the point where I can barely move. This eventually feeds into a crippling migraine. On top of this, even if I can get a hold on the pain, I for whatever reason cannot sleep at night without the aid of drugs. This causes me to have a very irregular sleeping pattern and when I do sleep, it is not comfortable or refreshing.

How that we’re getting on top of pain management, the next hopeful prayer is to get me sleeping regularly and in way that it strengthens me daily. I believe if these can be accomplished, I will be able to be fully restored to my life and ministry. Regardless, I’m humbly seeking to glorify God within this pain and to captive every moment as an act of worship.